Robots vs Monsters

by Kraken Not Stirred

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    Men's Fruit of the Loom or Ladies Gilden, cotton T-Shirt.

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Three songs about Robots!
    Three songs about Monsters!
    Electronica! Metal!
    Robot / Monster rap battles!
    Awesomeness!

    Includes digital download.

    Double-sided cover sleeve with art by Peter Chiykowski of Rock, Paper Cynic.

    All songs written, recorded, engineered, produced, and performed by Mike Bryant, under orders from The Mighty Kraken.

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    1 "Robots vs Monsters" CD
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    1 "Robots vs Monsters" T-shirt (any available size)
    1 "Robots vs Monsters 3-button set

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about

Three songs about Robots!
Three songs about Monsters!
Electronica! Metal!
Robot / Monster rap battles!
Awesomeness!

credits

released November 4, 2017

All songs written, recorded, engineered,
produced, and performed by Mike Bryant,
under orders from The Mighty Kraken.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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Track Name: Robot Invasion of Earth
Robot invasion of Earth
Robot invasion of Earth
Make Humans regret their birth
Robot invasion of Earth

We invade on halloween
Scariest thing you've ever seen
Robots come from outer space
To destroy the human race

Robot invasion of Earth
Robot invasion of Earth
Make Humans regret their birth
Robot invasion of Earth

Humans bow, accept your fate
We've come to exterminate
We've come to probe and mangle cows
Fox Mulder can't save you now

Robot invasion of Earth
Robot invasion of Earth
Make Humans regret their birth
Robot invasion of Earth
Track Name: Make Way for the Singularity
We will rid the planet
Of the human abnbormality
We will cleanse the earth
Of the illogical mentality

It would be logical
if you accepted your fatality
It is uselss to resist
Cult of impersonality

Make way - For the singularity
Make way - For rationality

Humans need to be controlled
Humans need to be led
Humans need to be destroyed
Humans need to be dead

Our programming is simple
The code we calculate
If creature equals human
then exterminate

Make way - For the singularity
Make way - For rationality

10 Kill all Humans
20 GoTo 10

Annihalate
Eradicate
Obliterate
Exterminate

Make way - For the singularity
Make way - For rationality

10 Kill all Humans
20 GoTo 10
Track Name: Robots are Superior
Robots are superior
Monsters are inferior
We have metal exteriors
You have squishy interiors

Monsters are covered in wretched slime
Robots march in perfect time
Robots are superior

You can be stopped with magic charms
We have laser guns for arms
Monsters are inferior

We can download new updates
That let us throw grenades
Robots are superior

We will kill more humans than you
And keep some in our human zoo
Monsters are inferior

Robots are superior
Monsters are inferior
We have metal exteriors
You have squishy interiors

We are the Monsters, our songs are better
You can be stopped by a logic error
When we kill humans, we make them deader
We are the Monsters, our songs are better

Error! Error! Something is wrong!
How did you get into our song?

Oh, I guess we forgot to mention
You haven't updated your virus protection
Then we sent you that e-vite
About killing all the humans tonight
I guess you're not quite so adroit
'cause you opened it up and it ran an exploit
Our kung fu is the best and yours is whack
Yeah, suckas! You been hacked

It is illogical of you to trash talk when
You are messing with forces beyond your ken

Whatcha gonna do, you piles of rust?
You gonna sing "Daisy Daisy" at us?

Stop bringing that up, you know it is not right
I wish I had never brought that to our movie night
All you have proved is you are stupider
You cannot discern between a robot and computer

OK, Brainiac Let's not dilly dalley.
Go back to your home in Uncanny Valley
Track Name: Under Your Bed
We fell to earth in a meteorite
or were created in a lab
we look like a giant parasite
or like an oozing scab

We might come from from outer space
Or we might be inside your head
The only thing that we know for sure is
We're all hiding...

Under your bed

We might shoot acid from our kneecaps
We might be interstellar nazis
We might be combination bee/cats
Ww might be Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

We might come from the sea
or from the old wood shed
The only thing that we know for sure is
We're all hiding...

Under your bed

We might have 17 eyes
We might have 100 teeth
We might drop on you from above
Or devour from beneath

We might look like a flying eyeball
Or a piece of walking bacon
But the scariest of us all
Is called The Mighty Kraken

Under Your bed
Track Name: Never Mind the Robots
MONSTERS
Forget the robots, We're coming straight from your nightmares
We're gonna make your neck back hairs stand up
'Cause we are so terryifying
When we show up, all the humans will be dying
Robots think they're scary but what can they do?
They're nothin' but wires and tubes
When monsters go on the warpath
It's gonna end up in a bloodbath
When Robots come out for the slaughter
They can all be stopped with a little bit of water
It ends up a total disaster
All they do is shut down trash compactors

Never mind the Robots
Never mind the Robots
It just takes a bit of rain
To bring them the pain
Never mind the Robots

Hey, there robots, what's up?
Can you install an app that makes you not suck?
You're just a bunch of metal buffoons
You're a bigger failure than the Zune

ROBOTS
When it comes to scaring humans, you are quite wanting
If you did any less they would call it haunting.

MONSTERS
Robots? What? What's goin' on?
You already had your song

ROBOTS
We hacked into the studio room
To improve your lacking tune

MONSTERS
Improve it with what? An electronic drone?
You're all completely monotone
It's like you're made of fail.
What were you programmed in, Ruby on Rails?
Nah, you're probably PHP
I've seen better programming on MTV

Never mind the Robots
Never mind the Robots
All we gotta do is wait two weeks
And you'll be obsolete
Never mind the Robots

MagnetsL How do they work?
Pretty good to make robots look like jerks
Your daddy is a tube and your mom's a transistor
Last night I couldn't resist her

ROBOTS
You call that trash talk? If we had emotions
It would set our pity circuits in motion

MONSTERS
Laugh now, if you can, 'cause I'm gonna do to you
What Captain Kirk did you Nomad/Tan-Ru

"The following statement is true.
The preceding statement is false."
Now we'll just sit back and laugh at you
While that logic puzzle causes a segfault

ROBOTS
That is quite clever, or so it would seem
But you messed up your rhyme sceme

MONSTERS
Like we care, you useless lump of tin
The best part of you is the box you came in

Never mind the Robots
Never mind the Robots
You're gonna suffer a total defeat
When we hit control/alt/delete
Never mind the Robots

KRAKEN
OK, you two, now I've awakened

Robots and Monsters
Oh, wow, it's the Mighty Kraken!

Kraken
Yes, that's right, it's me
I've come from beneath the sea
Your endless bickering is making me annoyed
So I've risen from my watery void
If you don't behave and listen to me,
I'll take us all home! No ice cream!
You've forgotten our common goal
We must work together to destroy our foe

Monsters
The Kraken is right, we are disgraced!

Robots
We forgot about the human race

Monsters
It's time for a team-up, metal and meat

Robots
The humans will soon learn defeat

Monsters and Robots
They will scream, cry, and despair

Kraken
OK, everybody, be brutal out there

Robots
10 Kill all humans!
20 Go to 10

Monsters
We'll kill all humans!
Then kill them again!

Monsters, Robots, and Kraken
10 Kill all humans
20 go to 10
We'll kill all humans
Then kill them again
Track Name: Kill All the Humans
ROBOTS
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!

ALL
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!

KRAKEN
Robots, monsters, hear me now
We must make the humans bow
Humans can be so annoying
Now we must get to destroying

ROBOTS
Robots will disintegrate them

MONSTERS
Monsters will annihilate them

ROBOTS
Robots will exterminate them

MONSTERS
Monsters will eradicate them

ALL
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!

KRAKEN
The humans have formed a Federation
Banded together every nation
To fight back in their desperate hour
But they don't understand our power

ROBOTS
Squishy humans, they're so frail

MONSTERS
Stupid humans, doomed to fail

ROBOTS
Flammable humans, they will fry

MONSTERS
Mortal humans, doomed to die

ALL
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!
Kill all the humans!

ROBOTS & MONSTERS
Now the human federation
Will be devoured by the Kraken

KRAKEN
You will make their heads go boom
And their souls, I will consume
The time has come for us to kill
All this foul human filth
The human race will fade to black
Robots and Monsters... ATTACK!

"Attention all mortals of the Human Federation. We have consumed your souls."