Robots vs Monsters

by Kraken Not Stirred

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    Men's Fruit of the Loom or Ladies Gilden, cotton T-Shirt.

    Black with "Robots vs Monsters" cover artwork by Peter Chiykowski of Rock, Paper Cynic.

    In Men's M, L, XL. or 2XL and Women's S, M, or L.

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

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    Three songs about Robots!
    Three songs about Monsters!
    Electronica! Metal!
    Robot / Monster rap battles!
    Awesomeness!

    Includes digital download.

    Double-sided cover sleeve with art by Peter Chiykowski of Rock, Paper Cynic.

    All songs written, recorded, engineered, produced, and performed by Mike Bryant, under orders from The Mighty Kraken.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Robots vs Monsters via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

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    1 "Robots vs Monsters" CD
    1 "Robots vs Monsters" digital download (with 16-page .pdf booklet)
    1 "Robots vs Monsters" T-shirt (any available size)
    1 "Robots vs Monsters 3-button set

    All for one low, low death-dealing price!

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1.
Robot invasion of Earth Robot invasion of Earth Make Humans regret their birth Robot invasion of Earth We invade on halloween Scariest thing you've ever seen Robots come from outer space To destroy the human race Robot invasion of Earth Robot invasion of Earth Make Humans regret their birth Robot invasion of Earth Humans bow, accept your fate We've come to exterminate We've come to probe and mangle cows Fox Mulder can't save you now Robot invasion of Earth Robot invasion of Earth Make Humans regret their birth Robot invasion of Earth
2.
We will rid the planet Of the human abnbormality We will cleanse the earth Of the illogical mentality It would be logical if you accepted your fatality It is uselss to resist Cult of impersonality Make way - For the singularity Make way - For rationality Humans need to be controlled Humans need to be led Humans need to be destroyed Humans need to be dead Our programming is simple The code we calculate If creature equals human then exterminate Make way - For the singularity Make way - For rationality 10 Kill all Humans 20 GoTo 10 Annihalate Eradicate Obliterate Exterminate Make way - For the singularity Make way - For rationality 10 Kill all Humans 20 GoTo 10
3.
Robots are superior Monsters are inferior We have metal exteriors You have squishy interiors Monsters are covered in wretched slime Robots march in perfect time Robots are superior You can be stopped with magic charms We have laser guns for arms Monsters are inferior We can download new updates That let us throw grenades Robots are superior We will kill more humans than you And keep some in our human zoo Monsters are inferior Robots are superior Monsters are inferior We have metal exteriors You have squishy interiors We are the Monsters, our songs are better You can be stopped by a logic error When we kill humans, we make them deader We are the Monsters, our songs are better Error! Error! Something is wrong! How did you get into our song? Oh, I guess we forgot to mention You haven't updated your virus protection Then we sent you that e-vite About killing all the humans tonight I guess you're not quite so adroit 'cause you opened it up and it ran an exploit Our kung fu is the best and yours is whack Yeah, suckas! You been hacked It is illogical of you to trash talk when You are messing with forces beyond your ken Whatcha gonna do, you piles of rust? You gonna sing "Daisy Daisy" at us? Stop bringing that up, you know it is not right I wish I had never brought that to our movie night All you have proved is you are stupider You cannot discern between a robot and computer OK, Brainiac Let's not dilly dalley. Go back to your home in Uncanny Valley
4.
We fell to earth in a meteorite or were created in a lab we look like a giant parasite or like an oozing scab We might come from from outer space Or we might be inside your head The only thing that we know for sure is We're all hiding... Under your bed We might shoot acid from our kneecaps We might be interstellar nazis We might be combination bee/cats Ww might be Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies We might come from the sea or from the old wood shed The only thing that we know for sure is We're all hiding... Under your bed We might have 17 eyes We might have 100 teeth We might drop on you from above Or devour from beneath We might look like a flying eyeball Or a piece of walking bacon But the scariest of us all Is called The Mighty Kraken Under Your bed
5.
MONSTERS Forget the robots, We're coming straight from your nightmares We're gonna make your neck back hairs stand up 'Cause we are so terryifying When we show up, all the humans will be dying Robots think they're scary but what can they do? They're nothin' but wires and tubes When monsters go on the warpath It's gonna end up in a bloodbath When Robots come out for the slaughter They can all be stopped with a little bit of water It ends up a total disaster All they do is shut down trash compactors Never mind the Robots Never mind the Robots It just takes a bit of rain To bring them the pain Never mind the Robots Hey, there robots, what's up? Can you install an app that makes you not suck? You're just a bunch of metal buffoons You're a bigger failure than the Zune ROBOTS When it comes to scaring humans, you are quite wanting If you did any less they would call it haunting. MONSTERS Robots? What? What's goin' on? You already had your song ROBOTS We hacked into the studio room To improve your lacking tune MONSTERS Improve it with what? An electronic drone? You're all completely monotone It's like you're made of fail. What were you programmed in, Ruby on Rails? Nah, you're probably PHP I've seen better programming on MTV Never mind the Robots Never mind the Robots All we gotta do is wait two weeks And you'll be obsolete Never mind the Robots MagnetsL How do they work? Pretty good to make robots look like jerks Your daddy is a tube and your mom's a transistor Last night I couldn't resist her ROBOTS You call that trash talk? If we had emotions It would set our pity circuits in motion MONSTERS Laugh now, if you can, 'cause I'm gonna do to you What Captain Kirk did you Nomad/Tan-Ru "The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false." Now we'll just sit back and laugh at you While that logic puzzle causes a segfault ROBOTS That is quite clever, or so it would seem But you messed up your rhyme sceme MONSTERS Like we care, you useless lump of tin The best part of you is the box you came in Never mind the Robots Never mind the Robots You're gonna suffer a total defeat When we hit control/alt/delete Never mind the Robots KRAKEN OK, you two, now I've awakened Robots and Monsters Oh, wow, it's the Mighty Kraken! Kraken Yes, that's right, it's me I've come from beneath the sea Your endless bickering is making me annoyed So I've risen from my watery void If you don't behave and listen to me, I'll take us all home! No ice cream! You've forgotten our common goal We must work together to destroy our foe Monsters The Kraken is right, we are disgraced! Robots We forgot about the human race Monsters It's time for a team-up, metal and meat Robots The humans will soon learn defeat Monsters and Robots They will scream, cry, and despair Kraken OK, everybody, be brutal out there Robots 10 Kill all humans! 20 Go to 10 Monsters We'll kill all humans! Then kill them again! Monsters, Robots, and Kraken 10 Kill all humans 20 go to 10 We'll kill all humans Then kill them again
6.
ROBOTS Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! ALL Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! KRAKEN Robots, monsters, hear me now We must make the humans bow Humans can be so annoying Now we must get to destroying ROBOTS Robots will disintegrate them MONSTERS Monsters will annihilate them ROBOTS Robots will exterminate them MONSTERS Monsters will eradicate them ALL Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! KRAKEN The humans have formed a Federation Banded together every nation To fight back in their desperate hour But they don't understand our power ROBOTS Squishy humans, they're so frail MONSTERS Stupid humans, doomed to fail ROBOTS Flammable humans, they will fry MONSTERS Mortal humans, doomed to die ALL Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! Kill all the humans! ROBOTS & MONSTERS Now the human federation Will be devoured by the Kraken KRAKEN You will make their heads go boom And their souls, I will consume The time has come for us to kill All this foul human filth The human race will fade to black Robots and Monsters... ATTACK! "Attention all mortals of the Human Federation. We have consumed your souls."

about

Three songs about Robots!
Three songs about Monsters!
Electronica! Metal!
Robot / Monster rap battles!
Awesomeness!

credits

released November 4, 2017

All songs written, recorded, engineered,
produced, and performed by Mike Bryant,
under orders from The Mighty Kraken.

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all rights reserved

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Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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