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Fascinating Nature Facts

from Most Moistest Hits 2021 by Kraken Not Stirred

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about

I did not take my own lyric-writing advice.

lyrics

These are fascinating Nature Facts
They'll make you say, "Hey how 'bout that?"
These are fascinating nature facts
About gnats bats cats and rats
These are fascinating nature facts

Mushrooms can release a billion spores and
Owls don't have eyeballs, they have tubes
Daddy Longlegs predate dinosaurs and
The bare nosed wombat always poops in cubes

Herds of feral jorts on the savannah
debeak the anoraks with great delight
yeeting memes and hunting wild bananas
They slide into your DMs late at night

These are fascinating Nature Facts
They'll make you say hey how about that?
These are fascinating nature facts
About gnats bats cats and rats
These are fascinating nature facts

Babies can devour a clown in seconds
And catfish always make the dankest memes
rhesus monkeys built a giant mech and
now they're making a destructo beam

Ants are androids sent to cleanse the planet
of humans by the Great Antdroid from space
they will pummel us with pomegranites
and wipe out the entire human race

These are fascinating Nature Facts
They'll make you say hey how about that?
These are fascinating nature facts
About gnats bats cats and rats
These are fascinating nature facts

Moustaches are undercover agents
of the Great Galactic Platypus
They came here to shoot us with their lasers
and turn us into goo, gelatinous

But the ants and moustaches revolted
Against their great galactic overlords
The platypus and antdroid plans unfolded
Their Earth invasion cut off at the source

The overlords, they would not be abated
They declared all-out galactic war
The stone of ankhenhaat was excavated
from a supermassive black hole's core

They used its transmogrification powers
To fuse themselves together at their souls
All galactic beings now should cower
Together now, they are unstoppable

The great antdroid and platypus together
Are on their way now to destroy us all
Killing every human is their pleasure
They will cause the human race to fall

So...
Kneel before the android platypus
The Android Platypus

credits

from Most Moistest Hits 2021, released January 11, 2022

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Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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