We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Simply Rock Into Mordor

from Slithery When Wet by Kraken Not Stirred

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 CAD  or more

     

about

An alternate history of the Battle of Middle Earth. With Guitar solos.

With special guest Scworm of Nanochrist on bass.

lyrics

We were just another band outta Bag-End
on the road and tryin' to make ends meet
Playin' all the Inns
*and avoiding goblins
gettin paid in ale and meat

Playin' at the Prancing Pony
Down near Buckleberry Dock
Our heavy methril
Gave the people a thrill
We were playin' some razor sharp rock

Playing for a week in Rivendell
A Wizard came to see us one night
He rode a white steed
and smoked a lot of pipe weed
and said, "I think this Hobbit band's outta sight."

He had a ring he needed discarded
Into the fires from wence it came
though we might get fried
by the all-seeing eye
He promised us fortune and fame

We'll simply rock into Mordor
We're gonna walk through the front door
No need to chop up some orc gore
We'll simply rock...
Rock into Mordor

So he took us to the Council of Elrond
And he laid out all of the facts
We got Aragorn
And Legolas' horns
And of course Gimli offered his axe

Not everybody liked it
The plan met with mixed results
This one little knob
Thought it should be his job
And Ned Stark wanted a catapult

So we talked to the Booker of Sauron
And got a gig behind the Black Gates
We got up the chutzpah
To play Uglik's bar mitzvah
And they paid a pretty decent rate

We'll simply rock into Mordor
We're gonna stop at the beer store
Drink a bock then drink four more
We'll simply rock...
Rock into Mordor

Rocking out at our big finale
I was about to throw the ring in the flame
When a freak came on stage
in a coked out rage
"My precious!" he did exclaim

He said, "Give the precious back to Smeagol"
And he pushed past the rest of the band
Evaded Security
And he jumped on me
And bit a finger off of my fretting hand

Then he fell right into the lava
As he died, I swear I saw him smile
Sauron was stopped
Middle-Earth was rocked
And the pyro drove the audience wild

We simply rocked into Mordor
We gave a shock to the Orc Lord
Everybody hopped on the dance floor
We simply rocked...
Rocked into Mordor

credits

from Slithery When Wet, released February 20, 2015
Music and Lyrics by Mike Bryant

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

contact / help

Contact Kraken Not Stirred

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this track or account