An alternate history of the Battle of Middle Earth. With Guitar solos.
With special guest Scworm of Nanochrist on bass.
lyrics
We were just another band outta Bag-End
on the road and tryin' to make ends meet
Playin' all the Inns
*and avoiding goblins
gettin paid in ale and meat
Playin' at the Prancing Pony
Down near Buckleberry Dock
Our heavy methril
Gave the people a thrill
We were playin' some razor sharp rock
Playing for a week in Rivendell
A Wizard came to see us one night
He rode a white steed
and smoked a lot of pipe weed
and said, "I think this Hobbit band's outta sight."
He had a ring he needed discarded
Into the fires from wence it came
though we might get fried
by the all-seeing eye
He promised us fortune and fame
We'll simply rock into Mordor
We're gonna walk through the front door
No need to chop up some orc gore
We'll simply rock...
Rock into Mordor
So he took us to the Council of Elrond
And he laid out all of the facts
We got Aragorn
And Legolas' horns
And of course Gimli offered his axe
Not everybody liked it
The plan met with mixed results
This one little knob
Thought it should be his job
And Ned Stark wanted a catapult
So we talked to the Booker of Sauron
And got a gig behind the Black Gates
We got up the chutzpah
To play Uglik's bar mitzvah
And they paid a pretty decent rate
We'll simply rock into Mordor
We're gonna stop at the beer store
Drink a bock then drink four more
We'll simply rock...
Rock into Mordor
Rocking out at our big finale
I was about to throw the ring in the flame
When a freak came on stage
in a coked out rage
"My precious!" he did exclaim
He said, "Give the precious back to Smeagol"
And he pushed past the rest of the band
Evaded Security
And he jumped on me
And bit a finger off of my fretting hand
Then he fell right into the lava
As he died, I swear I saw him smile
Sauron was stopped
Middle-Earth was rocked
And the pyro drove the audience wild
We simply rocked into Mordor
We gave a shock to the Orc Lord
Everybody hopped on the dance floor
We simply rocked...
Rocked into Mordor
credits
from Slithery When Wet,
released February 20, 2015
Music and Lyrics by Mike Bryant