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Roamin' in Wyomin'

from Most Moistest Hits 2019 by Kraken Not Stirred

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lyrics

I’ve always liked to travel
But now I’ve come unraveled
Because I always miss you when I’m away
You miss me when I’m not home
So you bought me a phone
So we can see each other every day

Now we can FaceTime
And I’m always online
Sending packets flying into space
Spending days and nights
Connected by satellites
All so I can see your pretty face

I racked up quite the fees
Texting from Belize
So I checked a credit rating app
Turns out my pay-per-use
Amounts to bank account abuse
And I swear that I heard my phone laugh

I been roamin’ in Wyomin’
And now I am combin’
Through the sofa cushions for some change
Thanks to my data here
My bill is in the stratosphere
I checked my usage and it just said “Deranged.”

I racked up quite the levy
Because my use is heavy
And now I find myself in deep despair
If I’m gonna make this payment
I’ll need a bank account in the Caymans
And still won’t be able to afford to text from there.

Emailin' from the Ari Atoll
Or rackin' up tolls in Seoul
In Algiers where I can't affourd souvenirs
Paying rates at the Bering Strait
where the magistrate says I’m a cheapskate
In Arrears, drinkin’ beers here in Tangiers

I been roamin’ in Wyomin’
And now I am combin’
Through the sofa cushions for some change
Thanks to my data here
My bill is in the stratosphere
I checked my usage and it just said “Deranged.”

And when this coil shuffles
Collections will get their shovels
And ask my skeleton how it wants to pay
And that’s when I will moan
Cause I ain’t got the bones
To cover my last month’s data anyway

And when I get where I’m goin’
And the angel’s horns are blowin’
Or I’ve climbed up to the top of Yggdrasil
I know I can’t afford the rates
to text you from the Pearly gates
when my heart gives out after I get my bill

'cause I been roamin’ in Wyomin’
And now I am combin’
Through the sofa cushions for some change
Thanks to my data here
My bill is in the stratosphere
I checked my usage and it just said “Deranged.”
I checked my usage and it just said “Deranged.”
I checked my usage and it just said “Deranged.”

credits

from Most Moistest Hits 2019, released December 30, 2019

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Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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