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Neo​-​Otyugh (Rock Version)

from Mixtape by Kraken Not Stirred

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lyrics

Eight foot diameter
and 700 pounds
he's got three legs
From his hips to the ground
His big spikey tail
Is gonna give you a pound
You're gonna take 2 to 4 points
of damage per round

He's a neo-otyugh
Hope you can run 'cause you ought to
He's got spikes that skewer
and he lives in the sewer
He's a neo-otyugh
Better hope he don't spot you
He's slimy and greasy
and he's covered in feces

He sees you comin'
Through multiple eyes
No need to roll initiative
'cause he can't be surprised
But you misunderstand
if you think he's revolting
You think he's monster
but he's actually lonely

He's a neo-otyugh
And he's gonna rock you
He's gonna show you a good time
He's gonna buy you mead and wine
He's a neo-otyugh,
He wants to dance a softshoe
Out there on the dancefloor,
He's one funky omnivore

He's gonna wear a tie and take you out
He understands that you might have some doubts
Maybe go for bowling then to a bar
Then some mini golf or bumper cars
He just wants some pleasant conversation and a luncheon
Instead of lurking in piles of feces in a dungeon

He's a neo-otyugh
and he's wearing his dance shoes
He's got three attacks per round
and he knows how to get down.
He's a neo-otyugh
Cooler than a gelatinous cube
He might need some refinement
He's got a neutral alignment
He's a neo-otyugh
A tripod with an attitude
Japanese schoolgirls, get back
He's got a tentacle attack
He's a neo-otyugh
And he thinks that you ought to
know he's built like a rock
And he's got a big stalk

credits

from Mixtape, released May 7, 2016

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Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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