Listen to Wilhelm Scream

from Most Moistest Hits 2020 by Kraken Not Stirred

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lyrics

Listen up, let me tell you about this guy
His name is Wilhelm and you've seen him die
He's done it more than four hundred times
Been bitten by a gator and arrowed in the thigh

He just gets reincarnated and then
That poor sucker gets killed again
It's been going on since times ancient
All just for our entertainment

From a long time ago, in a galaxy far away
Up until just earlier today
What does all thisdying do to his self esteem?
Listen to Wilhelm scream!

Wilhelm!
Wilhelm!
Wilhelm!
Listen to Wilhelm scream!

He got shot by a puppet and he fell off a ledge
Thrown from a castle wall, got an acorn in the head
Stabbed in the hand by a flying knife
Thrown out of frame by an angry Dark Knight

He once got strangled by a big blonde dude
And was stabbed a bride wearing Bruce Lee's suit
Moving the lost ark, he was a guard
Got knocked from the truck and he landed on a car

Got thrown into a pit by a Wookiee on Bespin
On the Death Star he fell into a chasm
It must seem like a really bad dream
Listen to Wilhelm scream!

He got pushed off a cliff by a dinosaur
And sucked into a big blue shimmering orb
Forced from a boat by a duck in an plane
And fell through a bannister on Life Day

Thrown from a boat on the back of a truck
Shot by a rogue tie fighter, bad luck
An elf pushed him off an oliphant: not fun
And even then, he still only counts as one

Rode a room service cart into a bandstand
Knocked off a desk by a rotating lamp
Shot in the butt by his own laser, bent
by a mog named Barf, he’s his own best friend

Knocked off a bridge by a dwarf with an axe
Thrown from a cop car into a pile of trash
Went flying when his motorbike hit a stump
And eaten by a gator to the sound of distant drums

Got thrown around by an animated squid
And fell head-first into the sarlaac pit
Shot by countless laser beams
Listen to Wilhelm scream!

Nobody knows how he keeps coming back to life
Over and over throughout all space and time
Maybe he's some sort of God
Trapped in the time stream
All we can do is listen to Wilhelm scream
Maybe it's cosmic punishment
By a vengeful being supreme
All we can do is listen to Wilhelm scream
All we can do is listen to Wilhelm scream

credits

from Most Moistest Hits 2020, released January 8, 2021

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Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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