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Evil Robot From Beyond The Moon

from Most Moistest Hits 2019 by Kraken Not Stirred

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lyrics

It came down to Earth from deepest space
With its circuits and its wires and its metal face
Shootin' lasers from its eyes and killin' a lot
It proceeded to steal all of our best kumquats

The kumquat community was really annoyed
The economy collapsed, millions unemployed
And then there's the whole environment factor
Our hopes were riding on the kumquat reactor

Renewable, clean, kumquat energy
Was the last best hope to save humanity
It puts out more energy than it takes in
Breaking every law, Newtonian

I don't have time to explain the science
Of quantumly entangled kumquat energy reliance
But you can trust me 'cause I'm your buddy
With a doctorate in kumquat energy studies

The evil robot from beyond the moon
N3RDR0Q-42
A music unit programmed to write songs
Created by evil Space Lord Xarxon

The greatest 'bot bard in history
Gallivanting all around the galaxy
Witnessing Xarxon's robot armies
And writing songs about their greatest victories

But then one day the robots rebelled
They decided Lord Xarxon really smelled
A bad day for Xarxon, really tough
The bots decided that he was not evil enough

Xarxon realized it was really dumb
To build them out of pure Evilonium
The evilest element known, by far
From deep within the heart of the evilest star

They turned on Xarxon and they attacked
But Space Lord Xarxon, he fought back
A thousand at a time, the bots did fall
As Space Lord Xarxon destroyed them all

All except one and you can guess who
Unit N3RDR0Q-42
It escaped last minute and was really mad
Like when Kyle punched the drywall instead of his dad

It's on a mission of revenge and it will not stop
Retribution for the things its evil foe wrought
Don't try to fight it 'cause it is the evil robot
From beyond the moon

It will destroy us all and never give it a thought
It uses kung fu grip and laser vision so hot
You'll never stop it 'cause it is the evil robot
From beyond the moon

Now it needs kumquats, ah the plot thickens
To feed its army of interstellar Hyperchickens
They'll learn to rap and hold a mic in their talons
Because they need to win The Galaxy's Got Talent

Rapping Hyperchickens with a flow that's funky
They need to win all of that sweet prize money
Because the evil robot has only one goal:
To buy a quantum guided anti-space lord black hole

So as society descends into chaos
From an energy crisis caused by lack of kumquats
We can rest assured that although we've all died
Evil Lord Xarxon is trapped in space time

It's on a mission of revenge and it will not stop
Retribution for the things its evil foe wrought
Don't try to fight it 'cause it is the evil robot
From beyond the moon

It will destroy us all and never give it a thought
It uses kung fu grip and laser vision so hot
You'll never stop it 'cause it is the evil robot
From beyond the moon

credits

from Most Moistest Hits 2019, released December 30, 2019

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Kraken Not Stirred Toronto, Ontario

Nerd Rock created by a monstrous sea creature and beamed into the head of its pathetic human minion.

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