Open up your eyes and you'll see the truth It's all right there, you don't need any proof It's written by experts so you know it's right This guy's even got his own website. How much more legit do you think it can get? They don't let just anybody post on the net You won't believe what's behind the scenes JFK abducts aliens to test vaccines And the 5G rays that Stonehenge emits Magnetize moscovium inside the pyramids There's a chip in my brain made of titanium I'm not saying it's aliens but it's aliens I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet A UFO landed in the White House kitchenette Bigfoot got out and then he stole a clarinet He took a coronet and then performed a minuet I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet Davinci hid a secret code in the alphabet It's a recipe for an awesome vinaigrette I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet Planet X is ruled by beings of purple copper And the Gnomes of Zurich own the black helicopters The Lost Cosmonauts run the wind turbines But it's the grassy knoll that is the real mastermind The knoll developed chemtrails from a viral culture and then it married Elvis and they started MKUltra They brought the Easter Island heads back to life In their Antarctic base where they flouridate the ice They saved Hitler's brain and they put it in a shark It lives on the moon on the side that's dark With the Tamum Shud Man who's been training hard for battle To melt steel beams and to mutilate cattle I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet DB Cooper was a radiated marmoset He and Jack the Ripper wrote a little novelette A kitten remake of Romeo and Juliet I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet Aliens produced a killer videocassette It makes a tentacle come out of your TV set I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet And the grassy knoll built the pyramids other things And used GMO tech to grow shark wings And put a growth formula in weather balloons To float up to the Hitler Shark living in the moon He sits up there plotting his revenge all day And the lizards in the government made it OK To experiment injecting sheep with DNA from people And now the hitler shark has an army made of sheeple They fly to the East pole dressed as giraffes To the entrance to the hollow earth to take photographs Of the secret double mini-earth floating up inside Where the greys and illiminati and the antichrist Make tiny radios out of the Roswell debris To put into the fillings that we all have in our teeth and if we try to pull them out our craniums will melt and they beam us thought control so we'll believe in Beilefeld I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet A UFO landed in the White House kitchenette Bigfoot got out and then he stole a clarinet He took a coronet and then performed a minuet I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet Davinci hid a secret code in the alphabet It's a recipe for an awesome vinaigrette I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet DB Cooper was a radiated marmoset He and Jack the Ripper wrote a little novelette A kitten remake of Romeo and Juliet I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet Aliens produced a killer videocassette It makes a tentacle come out of your TV set I know it's true 'cause I read it on the Internet

My heart beats for you Thought I'd said goodbye My heart beats for you I could hear your cries I didn't know you never seen your face Couldn't feel a thing In that darkened place Prechorus I couldn't see a thing and I couldn't hear a sound But you called to me and I pulled myself up from the ground... I gave you my heart my heart it's a feeling I can't describe I gave you my heart my heart and you make me feel alive So dry your eyes 'cause I've arrived our lives intertwined and now we'll never ever be apart I gave you my heart I'm a part of you forever entwined I'm a part of you forever inside I knew you were there I heard you calling I crawled to the surface to join the living

It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself There's a white oak tree in Georgia They call the Jackson Oak And I'm absolutely serious I'm not making a joke When I tell you that it owns itself By a legal deed Bestowed by William Jackson Around 1820 It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself Technically it's the offspring of the original tree Which met a sad demise in the 1940s But there's no need to be sad No need to be forlorn the son of the tree that owns itself Grew from its dad's acorn To make this even weirder To make this all bananas There's another tree that owns itself Down in Alabama It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself It's the tree that owns itself

I need to write fewer lyrics I need to write fewer lyrics I need to write fewer lyrics for my songs I put too many words in my songs Memorizing them takes too long I'm getting old and my memory is failing Remind me what I was I just saying? Oh, yeah...

These are fascinating Nature Facts They'll make you say, "Hey how 'bout that?" These are fascinating nature facts About gnats bats cats and rats These are fascinating nature facts Mushrooms can release a billion spores and Owls don't have eyeballs, they have tubes Daddy Longlegs predate dinosaurs and The bare nosed wombat always poops in cubes Herds of feral jorts on the savannah debeak the anoraks with great delight yeeting memes and hunting wild bananas They slide into your DMs late at night These are fascinating Nature Facts They'll make you say hey how about that? These are fascinating nature facts About gnats bats cats and rats These are fascinating nature facts Babies can devour a clown in seconds And catfish always make the dankest memes rhesus monkeys built a giant mech and now they're making a destructo beam Ants are androids sent to cleanse the planet of humans by the Great Antdroid from space they will pummel us with pomegranites and wipe out the entire human race These are fascinating Nature Facts They'll make you say hey how about that? These are fascinating nature facts About gnats bats cats and rats These are fascinating nature facts Moustaches are undercover agents of the Great Galactic Platypus They came here to shoot us with their lasers and turn us into goo, gelatinous But the ants and moustaches revolted Against their great galactic overlords The platypus and antdroid plans unfolded Their Earth invasion cut off at the source The overlords, they would not be abated They declared all-out galactic war The stone of ankhenhaat was excavated from a supermassive black hole's core They used its transmogrification powers To fuse themselves together at their souls All galactic beings now should cower Together now, they are unstoppable The great antdroid and platypus together Are on their way now to destroy us all Killing every human is their pleasure They will cause the human race to fall So... Kneel before the android platypus The Android Platypus

PSO J318.5-22 PSO J318.5-22 PSO J318.5-22ql- PSO J318.5-22 Deep in outer space so very far there's a planet-sized mass without a star Approximately 80 light years distant a rogue planet without a solar system I hope going there is not your desire 'cause it's got clouds of molten iron The stove may be hot but this is greater hot enough to melt the Terminator PSO J318.5-22 PSO J318.5-22 PSO J318.5-22 PSO J318.5-22 An extrasolar object of planet size How did it get itself ostracized? Maybe kicked out of an accretion disc I don't know why, maybe it was a dick Maybe it posted memes inflaming Maybe it was into orbit shaming Maybe it treated the other planets bad So now it wanders outer space, alone and sad PSOJ31 8.5-22 PSOJ31 8.5-22 PSOJ31 8.5-22 PSOJ31 8.5-22

When the winds are gusty and the sky is grey And the nights grow longer than the days And the leaves turn colour and fall to the ground And dry up dessicated and brown It happens every year at about this time They show up at my door in a ragged line When the sun goes down and it gets dark They knock to the beat of their hideous hearts All I want to do is watch TV But they are out there, demanding to feed There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide So I'm quaking and I'm shaking and I'm terrified The teeth and the claws and the gaping maws And all the guts and gore The frights and the scares And the walking nightmares They chill me to the core Vampires, zombies, skeletons, too All the things that I abhor I've had enough of these monsters at my door Aliens from outer space Living dead who'll eat your face Mad scientists with wacky hair Sponges wearing pants so square Pirates who'll make you walk the plank Evil Robots, Brains in Tanks Fiends and brutes to cause me fright all these creatures of the night The teeth and the claws and the gaping maws And all the guts and gore The frights and the scares And the walking nightmares They chill me to the core Vampires, zombies, skeletons, too All the things that I abhor I've had enough of these monsters at my door I've had enough of these monsters at my door men of iron and men of steel Princesses demand you kneel Awkward, nerdy shy outsiders bit by radioactive spiders Panthers black and thunder gods The butterfly princess terror squad A demon and a walking carcass Wizards shout Expelliarmus Werewolves and a Brundlefly Lions, tigers, bears, oh, my! Cheats and geeks and creeps and freaks Now I'll have nightmares for weeks The teeth and the claws and the gaping maws And all the guts and gore The frights and the scares And the walking nightmares They chill me to the core Vampires, zombies, skeletons, too All the things that I abhor I've had enough of these monsters at my door I've had enough of these monsters at my door

It's the night before Christmas and the snow starts to fall The food is served and all the presents wrapped there's a noise in the chimney then a hole in the wall My killer robot army has attacked Bringing gifts of pestilence and war and of cruelty and of course a partidge in a burning pear tree Dashing through the brimstone in a sleigh made of pain With gifts of dysfunction and distrust Trim the tree with evil, deck the halls with your brains You're getting destruction for Christmas People panic and they run around and scream as they are flayed Now the robots really go berzerk It's the feast of Stephen's entrails And I'm laughing all the way Hark! The herald angels fall to earth An advent calendar of poison, stockings filled with rotting skin All you get for Christmas is your two front teeth kicked in Dashing through the brimstone in a sleigh made of pain With gifts of dysfunction and distrust Trim the tree with evil, deck the halls with your brains You're getting destruction for Christmas My orbiting laser cannon with its destructo beams helps me to unleash my viscious wrath Lighting up the sky in flames of red and white and green And the burning North Pole beacon lights my path There will be peace on Earth after you let out your last scream And when the humans are all dead, I will reign supreme* Dashing through the brimstone in a sleigh made of pain With gifts of dysfunction and distrust Trim the tree with evil, deck the halls with your brains You're getting destruction for Christmas *This does not mean I will have tomatoes and sour cream